Well, that was cathartic

And by cathartic, I mean disgusting. Cleaning the freezer, that is. Who knew I had so many stale ice-encrusted bread heels, or that salmon caught over two years ago was lurking in its chilly depths? I am the proud owner of no less than 8 ice packs, 2 D batteries, 1 AA battery, a smattering of AAAs, 6 pepperoni that expired 8 months ago, 4 Italian ice cups, 1 corndog (hiding in a chicken patty bag that, incidentally, held neither chicken nor patty), 4 brown-and-serve sausages, 8 meatless brown-and-serve sausages, 1 chicken burrito, half a loaf of pumpernickel bread, 3 individual-sized servings of frozen corn, 1 pie crust, ancient dried tomatoes, vegetables for soup, a bag of boneless chicken breasts, 1 rock-hard multigrain waffle, a few cups of chicken broth, 3 colored bread-bag clips, 1 wooden clothespin, and what I *think* was a bowl of chili.

All of this was piled onto the available flat surfaces in the kitchen in the hopes of unearthing the package of ahi tuna fillets that I just *know* I put in there. Alas, no tuna. But since I made the effort to remove all the junk in search of the fish, I figured I might as well go all the way and actually wipe it down. I do believe that's the first time I've cleaned the freezer since we moved into this house over 2 years ago. (How did dog hair get in there?!) I've now reduced the contents by more than half, thanks to the patient help of my husband, who probably wasn't so thrilled to find that I'd filled a 13-gallon bag with frozen-but-only-hours-away-from-stinking food just moments after he'd already taken out the garbage. It's a nice feeling, actually, to know exactly what resides in there now. Too bad the one thing I wanted wasn't actually there.

Oh, well. Maybe it's hiding in the chest freezer downstairs. Another day, another garbage bag...

I made sauerkraut at work.

Yep, I'm the smelly kid today. I broke one of the cardinal Rules of Community Microwave Use, and I don't care!

In my defense, I waited until 2pm, so I didn't do it during peak hours. I couldn't stomach instant mac&cheese for one more day. My pork, garlic dill potatoes, and sauerkraut were DEEEElicious. One of the very, very few leftover meals I'll actually eat.

So if you see on the news that people in GR were passing out due to fumes in the workplace, think of me. I'll be smiling. :)

I can't hear you, la la la!

I hate spoilers. It doesn't matter if it's the end of a movie, who the bad guy in the mystery is, or, lately, what happens in the 7th Harry Potter book. Just because the final installment of the scarred boy's magical adventures was released on Friday does not mean that everybody and his brother has finished reading it by Monday morning.

So stop talking about it!

This means you, radio DJs, chatboard posters, family and friends. I know it's exciting. I understand that it's been a long time since the last book came out. But I really, really hate hearing that So-and-So did such-and-such with the you-know-what before I read it for myself. Why don't you just pee in my breakfast cereal? That would ruin my day about as much. If I wanted to know things about the book without reading it first, I'd ask you to fill me in. Trust me. Until then, I'll be the girl in the corner, hunched over the pages with my fingers in my ears, humming loudly so as to avoid snippets of your rotten spoiling conversation reaching my consciousness...with one eye on my cereal.