I can't hear you, la la la!

I hate spoilers. It doesn't matter if it's the end of a movie, who the bad guy in the mystery is, or, lately, what happens in the 7th Harry Potter book. Just because the final installment of the scarred boy's magical adventures was released on Friday does not mean that everybody and his brother has finished reading it by Monday morning.

So stop talking about it!

This means you, radio DJs, chatboard posters, family and friends. I know it's exciting. I understand that it's been a long time since the last book came out. But I really, really hate hearing that So-and-So did such-and-such with the you-know-what before I read it for myself. Why don't you just pee in my breakfast cereal? That would ruin my day about as much. If I wanted to know things about the book without reading it first, I'd ask you to fill me in. Trust me. Until then, I'll be the girl in the corner, hunched over the pages with my fingers in my ears, humming loudly so as to avoid snippets of your rotten spoiling conversation reaching my consciousness...with one eye on my cereal.